A Friendship of the Heart

For some of you that have been reading my blog for awhile now, you may know how very special my friend Ruthie is to me. Last year was an extremely difficult year for her. She had a falling out with her daughter, and never returned to the home they shared in Old Towne Orange leaving all of her things behind. Eventually, her daughter Susan, shipped a few boxes to her. It was a home that Ruthie loved, a garden she tended to, and one of the things left behind, something that meant a great deal to her, was her old wooden rocking chair. Ruthie has a condo in Florida and has been there now for over a year, never returning to her home in Old Towne Orange, to Country Roads, or to all the things she once loved. Her daughter Susan sold the house (which was Susan's) and moved to Ohio. Since then Ruthie and Susan have worked on their relationship and Ruthie flew to Ohio to help Susan decorate her new home. Ruthie has this saying about "looking through the front windshield, never the rear view mirror". Thus her and Susan have never discussed many things that really need to be discussed. Recently, Ruthie got a good look in her rear view mirror when looking at pictures of Susan's home again one day. She saw that rocking chair she loved so very much. Below is a story Ruthie wrote to me about her beloved rocking chair that Susan now has in her home. A chair that Ruthie misses and just recently realized it!
This is the story of my chair.
"The year was 1995.
The place was the annual July handmade craft show at Piecemakers-Costa Mesa, Ca.
While strolling by the many booths of wonderful things, I spied this marvelous vintage chair that had been lovingly recovered with an old, soft pastel floral chenille bedspread. It was love at first sight. It was, indeed, a must have for my bedroom. In order to make room for my new love, I discovered I would have to part with something else, which I decided would have to be an old desk.
I believe that for most things you can find an answer if you look for it. After pondering this for a time, I came up with the idea that maybe, just maybe, a local antique store where I had shopped many times could be the answer. I had never had a space in an antique store but the idea appealed to me. I gathered up my nerve and off I went to Country Roads Antiques and Gardens in Old Towne Orange to inquire about my idea of selling my old desk. All I would need would be just a tiny space. Of course, Country Roads is not just any antique store--it is simply the best and in my mind the only place worthy of my desk. Please remember, I loved my new chair but I needed to give my old desk the respect it deserved so I was willing to risk rejection at Country Roads.
I was cordially greeted by the owner, Sue Jackson, and began pleading my case about my new chair and I needed a small space to sell my desk. I realize now that I must have sounded like some wacko, but she was so kind and inquired what else I had to sell. OOPS, I had not thought of that! I assured her I had a few other small things that I could add-although, truth be known, I had no idea what that would be.
She showed me a very tiny spot at the top of the stairs that I could rent. I was thrilled beyond words--never mind the roof was slanted and you almost had to bend over to get in. What a happy day -yup, there I was--a proud "dealer" at Country Roads. I was ecstatic as I made the short trip home to get my desk! I had about 30 square feet of the more than 15,000 square feet at Country Roads. But to me, it was gigantic. Little did I know that on that day I was embarking on a 12 year love affair with CR-an experience that I have concluded was and is a hallmark of my life--all because I fell in love with
a chair!
If, by chance, you were looking for me you only needed to look 3 places--my garden, CR or my chair. Yup, I sat in my chair reading by the hour, writing, making hundreds of tickets for pricing merchandise, catalog shopping for new product, planning the stores budget and sometimes just reflecting . The beautiful chenille bedspread finally wore out, the seat was sagging, and I reluctantly had it replaced with a slipcover which she was proud to wear. You take care of things you love.
For me, I have found it best as I travel the road of life, to look out of the windshield. Sometimes things occur that cause you to take a glimpse in the rear view mirror wither you want to or not. That happened to me yesterday.
My chair is now living with Susan in her new home and she looks beautiful there--just like she belongs. Why she is living there is another story. But the fleeting glance I had in the rear view mirror,as I looked at a recent photo of her, caused me to pause and reminded me of all the times we shared. I wonder what she would say-- if chairs could talk?
Just like an old friend that is gone--for one reason or another, I miss her and all that she represents to me. Do I have other chairs? Of course I do and for this I am grateful because I am aware that some people have none. None the less, she is special to me because of all the positive gifts that she has given to me in ways that changed my life".

In an email yesterday, Ruthie asked me, "how could we describe our friendship to anyone, how would they understand how important we are to each other". I told her that we have a "friendship of the heart", meaning there are certain people, friends, that have a piece of your heart and you have a piece of theirs. The cool part is you just "know" it, can't explain it, but you know how important these friendships are. Doesn't matter if there is an age gap, like mine and Ruthie's, as the heart doesn't care! For me, it's kind of funny that two of these people that I have a friendship of the heart with live far away; Ruthie in Florida and my friend Malisa in Texas! People are brought into our lives for a reason. And when you have a friendship of the heart, there is no better friend to have! And who knows, maybe Susan will happen to read this blog post and see the importance of peeking into the rear view mirror of life occasionally.

Time To Be Thankful

This is my friend Ruthie. I think you might remember her story, the big falling out between her and her daughter last year. Look at that smile on Ruthie's face now. She's at her daughter Susan's new house in Ohio! I gotta tell you, I didn't think I would ever see a happy reunion between this mother and daughter, but here's the photo to prove it! I don't want to get into the whole sad story that happened between this mom & daughter that had been SO very close and then suddenly were apart for a year. Let me just say all of us were so jealous of that mother/daughter relationship they shared and then the unbelievable happened. Ruthie is an amazing woman; my friend, my mentor and my hero in every since of the word. And to see that smile on her face in these pictures warms my heart in a way that words can't describe. It's time for Thanksgiving, and a good week to really dig down deep and think of what we are truly thankful for. And for me, to see the picture of Ruthie and her daughter Susan together again, is something I'm very thankful for. Take some time this week to remind yourself what you are thankful for. I believe this is a good year to be "thankful" and grateful, don't you?

My Friend RuFie

Yesterday afternoon when I went out to get my mail, there was an envelope with my name on it. I saw it was from my dear friend Ruthie, or "RuFie" as Riley lovingly calls her. When I opened the envelope, I found a little green box was inside. When I pulled it out, I saw the word "hope" written on it. You see, that word, "hope", is big with me and my friend RuFie. It is reminder of the good things in life, to never give up, and to keep "hope" alive in your heart. I was anxious to see what was inside. And as I opened the box. . . there it was! A little note written from the heart of my dear friend, and a shiny, silver pin with the word "hope" engraved on it. It's funny how life works out sometimes. When you least expect it, suddenly you are reminded of those that mean so much to you. Those that remind you of what you hold dear and near in your heart. And then when you walk out to get the mail, suddenly your heart is not only filled with "hope" but the love a friend that lives way to far away. I miss you RuFie, with all my heart!

"RuFie"

A while back, Ruthie had sent Riley a garden book. Riley is always picking it up and looking at it, she loves the book. And she always says, "this is RuFie's book she sent me"! I love the way she says "RuFie"! Ruthe's daughter, Susan, sold the house and is moving back to Ohio. She too has been through a lot, and it is time for everyone to look forward to better days. Bryce went over last week and got "my rose", that Ruthie had given me. I'm working in my garden preparing it for my Fall plants and Ruthie's rose. Believe me, it will look better than it does in this picture very soon!I could have gone to the estate sale at the house before everyone else. But as I said in a previous post, I couldn't go into a "house" that use to be a "home" filled with so many memories. And my fondest memories were those of our Country Roads "Operation Sell" meetings. They will always hold a place in my heart! I was working at Country Roads last week, and I saw those little kids rain boots above, they were in Darcy's space. I fell in love immediately, and they vaguely looked familiar. So I bought them and brought them home with me. What I found out from Darcy was that she got them at Susan's estate sale. It's funny how your heart sometimes remembers more things than your brain! Once Darcy told me that, I could remember those little boots sitting on Ruthie's kitchen table as a center piece at our Operation Sell meetings. She would put fresh cut flowers in them and it made a beautiful display on the table! My house is full of many, many things. Actually, too many things. But a lot of my "things" are those that were chosen by my heart, things that have special meaning to me. I can't wait until "RuFie's" rose begins to bloom again and I can cut the roses and put them in these little boots! Thank you for the memories "RuFie"!

Blooming Tuesdays

For this "Blooming Tuesday" I wanted to share a couple of photos from my dear sweet friend, Ruthie's garden. She moved away a year ago to her condo in Florida after her and her daughter had a falling out. I also wanted to share a story I had just written about Ruthie, and I was so surprised to get these photos of the roses this morning in an email from her. Seems her daughter-in-law was out here helping get Ruthie's house that she shared with her daughter, Susan, ready to sell. And because Ruthie loved her garden SO much, her daughter-in-law cut some roses from the garden and sent pictures to her. I really miss my friend Ruthie, she is such an awesome person, and had such a beautiful garden!Be sure to go visit Ms.Greenthumb Jean for some beautiful photos or her gardens and others!
The Gift of a Rose
Several years ago I gave my dear friend Ruthie Schmidt a bare root rose. I thought it was a great gift, something that would continue to grow and bloom just like our friendship that I so deeply cherished has grown and blossomed! Last year, Ruthie, at age 76, moved back to Florida and left her home and garden behind here in Old Towne Orange. The house belongs to her daughter, but Ruthie was the gardener. Her gardens were absolutely beautiful! She would bring us roses, fruit from her trees, and some of the vegetables she had grown to Country Roads. Her daughter has decided to sell her house and asked one of my dealers at Country Roads to hold an estate sale. Because Ruthie was so involved in Country Roads for so many years, Steve and Robin, who are doing the estate sale, wanted to do a preview night for just the Country Roads dealers. They wanted me to help be in charge of the event and I tried to explain to them “why” I couldn’t do it.

The house is no longer a “home” in my mind. And the “things” for sale have no meaning for me. I think I would be too heartbroken to step inside of the house. Over the past years, I have so many found memories of Ruthie in that house. She use to host, what she called, “Operation Sell” once a month. She would invite a few people from Country Roads that she felt would be good at contributing marketing ideas. Often Mike Escobedo attended a few meetings as well. Ruthie would sit at her desk, and the former school teacher that Ruthie once was, she held our attention and we shared marketing ideas. Ruthie would have an agenda prepared for us and her daughter Susan would take notes. It was the best of times for me. Ruthie would cut out articles she found in trade publications about marketing that she felt were worthwhile and share them with us all.

After I had spoken to Steve and Robin about the estate sale and the Country Roads preview night I went home and emailed Ruthie. I told her there was no way I could go over to what was once her home, but now is just a house to me. The thought of people going through all of the things in the house and wanting better prices on them, well, that image just broke my heart. So, I sadly explained to Ruthie “why” I just couldn’t do it. I asked her for one big favor that would mean so very, very much to me. I asked her if I could have one of her rosebushes. I would have my son Bryce go over and dig it out, assuming it was okay with Susan since it is her house, and replace it with another one I would buy at a nursery. I so badly wanted my memory of Ruthie and the happy times in her garden to continue to be a reminder to me each time I saw her rosebush in my garden.

Ruthie’s reply was wonderful. She told me she knew the exact rose she wanted me to have. It is called the “Tuscan Sun”, it was the bare root rose I had given her years ago and forgotten about. That was the rose she wanted me to have and I immediately knew the exact place in my garden where I would plant it. I was very touched by the words from such a special person that Ruthie is. There aren’t many “Ruthie’s” in our world today unfortunately. We need more of them. And because of Ruthie’s gesture, each day I walk out my front door, I will see “our” rose and be reminded of the true meaning of love and friendship.

Why I Love Ruthie!!

Today a package came in the mail addressed to "Morgan Jackson", and on the bottom it had written on it, "open ASAP". It was from my friend Ruthie who is now stuck in Florida. She is like a mom to me, and a Gramma to my kids, we all love her. Ruthie sent Morgan a sassy little bathing suit with some poolside sandals. Sorry the photo above is blurry because it "was" a cute moment with Riley and Justine! Enclosed with the wonderful gift was a handwritten card from Ruthie. Riley was doing her best to read the card. Ruthie has a way with words, as you will see below! When you read Ruthie's clever, heartfelt words, don't you miss her too? On a personal note, I am absolutely taking sides as to "why" my friend is now living in Florida, you know what I mean Susan!! Sometimes things in life happen that are just wrong! Enough said. We are having the baby shower at my house in a little less than two weeks now. It won't be the same without Ruthie! Riley is trying to explain to Morgan about the great gift that came today for her. Not sure Morgan quite understood, nor did Riley. But it was still special moment for Riley and her soon to be cousin!

Missing My Friend Ruthie!

Last October, Ruthie left the home she shared with her daughter, Susan, to go back to spend some time in her little condo in Florida before going on a cruise around the world with a past "love of her life". Ruthie is 78 years young and by far one of the coolest people I know. After the cruise, unfortunately, the love her life wasn't what she remembered, and I'm guessing he was probably too old for my girl Ruthie anyway! Then the most unexpected thing happened to not just Ruthie, but to us all. Her daughter had met someone very, very quickly and was convinced this was the guy, you know, as in "the love of her life". So, Ruthie was never able to come home again since the new man in her daughter's life had moved in before Ruthie even had a chance to move her things out. It still hurts me as I write this today.Ruthie is awesome, and I do mean TOTALLY awesome!! She's wise, creative, talented, very caring and so much more. She is my mentor. And she is the strongest woman I know! I will always remember the morning my son was working out front of the store. He had been gone for a little over a year because of some stupid mistakes he had made. Ruthie came around the corner and saw him. She grabbed him and began sobbing, and then next grabbed me while still sobbing, she was just so happy. She's held and rocked all the Country Roads babies in her arms. Ruthie use to read to Hannah when she was three (who is now 14 and works for me) while her mom worked at the store. Ruthie had the most awesome section in my store for years, Back Door Cottage. It was fabulous and our customers today still not only miss BDC, but Ruthie as well. Once a month, she would hold "Operation Sell" meetings in her home. She would gather myself and a few of our dealers and we would discuss marketing ideas. The former school teacher Ruthie, would shine at those meetings! And today, all of that has been taken away from us, her friends, the one's of us that were left here without her!At 78 years young, Ruthie went out and bought a computer and a book and learned that computer very quickly. Even though I don't get to see her, we at least get to e-mail each other all the time. We send quotes to each other, words of wisdom, you know. And she gives me advice, it's advice I always listen to. One of Ruthie's passions has been her garden that she had to leave back here at her daughter's house. I can't make myself write "home" because how can it be a "home" with Ruthie not there? As she told me in an e-mail the other day, "I knew every inch of that garden, and I keep thinking the oranges would be ready to be picked and I would bring them in to share with everyone at Roads". We miss our oranges this year more than you know Ruthie! I don't understand how daughters can hurt their mom's so badly, I just don't get it, especially when it is someone as wonderful as our Ruthie. I could go on and on, but out of respect to my friend, I will quit rambling, or is it bitching? Maybe a little of both. And for those of you that KNOW me, I always have ONE last thing to say when I shouldn't, but sometimes you just gotta do what you gotta do, so (sorry Ruthie),"bless your little heart" Susan! My friend Malisa really has a great way with words, she taught me that one, thanks Malisa!! I want to share the e-mail below I received from Ruthie a few weeks ago. She really loved her garden and was sharing with me her thoughts. You know, I miss her so much. . .

This is a "story" I wrote about my garden in 97. I had forgotten all about it being tucked away in my Bits of Wisdom file until you wrote about planting a garden with Riley.
My Garden
Once, while standing in the garden surrounded by piles of trimmings---you know sweet peas do turn brown and hollyhocks do need to be cut back---a visitor remarked, "Is the reward worth the work?" I was momentarily stunned by this remark---Work??? I truly had never considerate this "work". We take care of the things we value.

I liken gardening to the rearing of children. Seeds are sown and then you nuture. Plants and children need discipline and loving guidance so they are aware of their boundaries.If care has been taken you step back and wait and then you marvel at the beautiful blooms. Then you smile--Wow---What a reward. Work?? What a strange word.

Sometime we all have to say goodnight to all of our creations. The joy comes in knowing we have been given the pleasure of creating the ulitmate garden path. What a life!!

Keep on planting all of those beautiful gardens in your heart----you are never alone in your garden even tho' you may be sitting on the swing on your front porch.
You ROCK Ruthie!