Yes, the big arrow points the way, it was Sunday and time for all our "Bat Shit Crazy" customers to join us! Actually, I have to give credit where credit is due. Brande came up with the term, "Bat Shit Crazy". We have a newer customer that has just joined our group of regular "BSC" Sundays. This one may move to the top of the list. She looks at you and just blinks her eyes excessively as she "pretends" to talk to her Mother on the phone when in actuality, we don't think anyone is one the phone! She joined us yesterday, "bless her little heart".
One minute I'll glance down one of the aisles from the counter, and all looks well. I don't see anyone, everything is calm, and then all hell breaks loose! It turns into hours of insanity and madness. Yesterday a woman walks up to the counter asking if we have found any glasses from two weeks ago. Being the marvelous store that excels at customer service, of course we produce the said glasses! But then, an hour later, she is frantic. She has lost her navy blue sweatshirt. How do you lose your clothes while shopping? She is damn sure it is "somewhere" in the store, you know "somewhere" in the 12,000 square feet inside Country Roads, not even counting the garden out back! We look at her eyes and we know, she has become "BSC"! There is no convincing her that we don't know where her sweatshirt is. But wait, she spots a blue "something" on a chair behind the counter and is convinced it is the said missing sweatshirt! Nope, that one happens to say "Blue Canoe" on it and belongs to Tim or Bryce.
As our own mascot, and a member of the Red Hat Society, that no one quite ever catches on to, watches over us, another customer succumbs to be "BSC"! And this time Carol needs to look out because this customer who use to work at the liquor store across the street, and "supposedly" bitch slapped a dealer at a neighboring antique store, NOW has Carol's number and is totally going "BSC"! Usually, the woman is sweet and calls us all honey, and told Carol, "that's okay honey, when you have time to open the case you can help me". Sadly, Carol "forgot" and the customer went "BSC" on her! Of course the rest of us just laughed & laughed and told Carol to hide before she got one of the now famous "slaps"! Carol hides until she is gone! "All clear Carol, the "BSC" lady just left!
As "Officer Bull" our other mascot keeps an eye on everyone, it's my turn. I have the "arrogant" fancy customers that visited us at closing last week! The husband hates shopping, his "BSC" wife thinks everything should be "free" and they put me through a slow, tortuous death! The lamp is $59, but you know, as she tells me, "the lamp is crooked, can you see it's crooked, what color do you really think the chain on the lamp is, can I get it cheaper, it really is crooked". I look at the "BSC" customer and tell her I can take ten percent off, but wait, the "BSC" woman's husband has a stick up his, you know what. He scolds her for wanting that piece of junk. They argue. While I wait, I beat my head several times on the counter, because the pain feels so much better than listening to the "BSC" couple argue! I didn't really beat my head on the counter, but it REALLY would have felt better. The woman now goes "BSC" on me, "will you take $50". I don't hesitate, off course I'll knock another three dollars off, hell, I'll give it to her for free if she will just LEAVE! I want to go home, it is time. Of course I will do that, anything, just let me go home! About that time, Matt (Bryce's friend) comes in from helping a customer do a carry out. "Wow, the chick in the mini van just hit a suburban, she took off, and they chased her down". Yes, a "BSC" driving a mini van does a hit and run, I can't take anymore! I want to go home. Moments earlier we had the young college girls from Chapman come in browsing. You know, the ones that had been across the street all day drinking at the bar, but hey, it was the play-offs yesterday! And actually, they were a bit loud but at least had a sense of humor, even if one wore stilettos and white socks. And to her credit, she could pull it off and looked nice, and obviously they were having much more fun than we were on our "BSC" Sunday at Country Roads!
So, as I climbed into my car for my ride home, playing Madonna's "Like a Prayer" song from the "Hope for Haiti Now", over & over & over, I cranked up the volume and sang with Madge all the way home! I made a stop at my little liquor store by my house and bought the above. I paid for my purchases, and the guy thanked me, as he laughed and said, "ENJOY"! I realized then, that the "BSC" Sunday had taken control over me. I just looked at him and smiled and said, "I work retail"! And yes, thankfully "BSC" Sunday is over until next week! I knew then it was time to go home and have a Corona and orange Hostess cupcakes!
Well, yesterday, truly was another "Bat Shit Crazy" Sunday! What I've discovered is these types of Sundays, the BSC's usually occur under two situations. The first is my full moon theory. BSC's just come out of no where! It is like a bus full of lunatics pull up to the store and just go nuts on us! My second theory is the BSC's come visit us on Sundays that there has been a flea market! They feel that shopping at Country Roads is ALL about the "wheelin and dealin" accept they don't have a clue what comes out of their mouths. For example, my favorite BSC customer yesterday was one that started the conversation like this. "I'm interested in something over here". Of course I have NO idea where "over here" is. I follow the customer throughout the store because I know they are lost and don't have a clue in the world where they are. So, I just patiently walk behind them as they circle Country Roads!! Finally we find the space. What they are interested in is $200. The BSC customer starts the conversation like this, "I've been shopping in other stores in Orange and a lot of stores have stuff that is 50% off, is this 50% off"? I breathe deep and calmly just say, "no". Then it starts, you know the critical comments like "it's dirty" or "it's been here for awhile". etc. Finally the BSC customer TELLS me they would like to make an offer of $75 on the $200 item. Again, I breathe deeply and reply, "I really don't think that is going to happen, but I will call and see what their best price is". Which I do, and when the dealer asks me what they are offering, all I can tell him is "you really don't want to know, it's BSC Sunday"!! After THAT customer, I had to leave the counter without my "walkie talkie" and go to the garden! I sat on a bench and took deep breaths and savored the moment or two that I didn't have to answer a customer, or the phone, or anything else. Of course once I went back inside it all started over again, and my peaceful moment was long gone!!
After work, I met my family at El Torito to celebrate Justine's birthday. It helped me forget the BSC Sunday I just experienced. And when I ordered my big, delicious Pomegranate Cadillac Margarita, life was a little calmer. Damn, those BSC customers can really wipe you out. Thank God its Monday and I have a week to recoup!!
