"BSC" Sundays at Country Roads

Yes, the big arrow points the way, it was Sunday and time for all our "Bat Shit Crazy" customers to join us! Actually, I have to give credit where credit is due. Brande came up with the term, "Bat Shit Crazy". We have a newer customer that has just joined our group of regular "BSC" Sundays. This one may move to the top of the list. She looks at you and just blinks her eyes excessively as she "pretends" to talk to her Mother on the phone when in actuality, we don't think anyone is one the phone! She joined us yesterday, "bless her little heart". One minute I'll glance down one of the aisles from the counter, and all looks well. I don't see anyone, everything is calm, and then all hell breaks loose! It turns into hours of insanity and madness. Yesterday a woman walks up to the counter asking if we have found any glasses from two weeks ago. Being the marvelous store that excels at customer service, of course we produce the said glasses! But then, an hour later, she is frantic. She has lost her navy blue sweatshirt. How do you lose your clothes while shopping? She is damn sure it is "somewhere" in the store, you know "somewhere" in the 12,000 square feet inside Country Roads, not even counting the garden out back! We look at her eyes and we know, she has become "BSC"! There is no convincing her that we don't know where her sweatshirt is. But wait, she spots a blue "something" on a chair behind the counter and is convinced it is the said missing sweatshirt! Nope, that one happens to say "Blue Canoe" on it and belongs to Tim or Bryce. As our own mascot, and a member of the Red Hat Society, that no one quite ever catches on to, watches over us, another customer succumbs to be "BSC"! And this time Carol needs to look out because this customer who use to work at the liquor store across the street, and "supposedly" bitch slapped a dealer at a neighboring antique store, NOW has Carol's number and is totally going "BSC"! Usually, the woman is sweet and calls us all honey, and told Carol, "that's okay honey, when you have time to open the case you can help me". Sadly, Carol "forgot" and the customer went "BSC" on her! Of course the rest of us just laughed & laughed and told Carol to hide before she got one of the now famous "slaps"! Carol hides until she is gone! "All clear Carol, the "BSC" lady just left! As "Officer Bull" our other mascot keeps an eye on everyone, it's my turn. I have the "arrogant" fancy customers that visited us at closing last week! The husband hates shopping, his "BSC" wife thinks everything should be "free" and they put me through a slow, tortuous death! The lamp is $59, but you know, as she tells me, "the lamp is crooked, can you see it's crooked, what color do you really think the chain on the lamp is, can I get it cheaper, it really is crooked". I look at the "BSC" customer and tell her I can take ten percent off, but wait, the "BSC" woman's husband has a stick up his, you know what. He scolds her for wanting that piece of junk. They argue. While I wait, I beat my head several times on the counter, because the pain feels so much better than listening to the "BSC" couple argue! I didn't really beat my head on the counter, but it REALLY would have felt better. The woman now goes "BSC" on me, "will you take $50". I don't hesitate, off course I'll knock another three dollars off, hell, I'll give it to her for free if she will just LEAVE! I want to go home, it is time. Of course I will do that, anything, just let me go home! About that time, Matt (Bryce's friend) comes in from helping a customer do a carry out. "Wow, the chick in the mini van just hit a suburban, she took off, and they chased her down". Yes, a "BSC" driving a mini van does a hit and run, I can't take anymore! I want to go home. Moments earlier we had the young college girls from Chapman come in browsing. You know, the ones that had been across the street all day drinking at the bar, but hey, it was the play-offs yesterday! And actually, they were a bit loud but at least had a sense of humor, even if one wore stilettos and white socks. And to her credit, she could pull it off and looked nice, and obviously they were having much more fun than we were on our "BSC" Sunday at Country Roads! So, as I climbed into my car for my ride home, playing Madonna's "Like a Prayer" song from the "Hope for Haiti Now", over & over & over, I cranked up the volume and sang with Madge all the way home! I made a stop at my little liquor store by my house and bought the above. I paid for my purchases, and the guy thanked me, as he laughed and said, "ENJOY"! I realized then, that the "BSC" Sunday had taken control over me. I just looked at him and smiled and said, "I work retail"! And yes, thankfully "BSC" Sunday is over until next week! I knew then it was time to go home and have a Corona and orange Hostess cupcakes!