4.08.2009

Good-bye Mr.Wonderful!

This is myself and Mr.Wonderful in November of 1976! We had gotten married the day before Thanksgiving in the Las Vegas courthouse, and had our reception at Mr.Wonderful's mom's house that week-end. You know I was looking for some pictures of the festive occasion, but they were nowhere to be found. I must have given them to my kids, or was that what I used that one summer for a bonfire at the beach? I remember on the day of the reception my mom's friend was baking our wedding cake. She was super late because her dog had eaten half of the cake! I always wondered if that was a bad omen? We chose not to have a big wedding because we wanted to save money to buy our first home, which we did a year or so later. It was a fixer upper and you know, to this day I miss that house. We worked hard, fixed our house up, had three great kids, and as Mr.Wonderful climbed the corp ladder and I opened Country Roads we had a nice life in our regular house in a regular neighborhood.

Back in the early 90' our lives changed. We bought a big house in a fancy neighborhood, nice cars, vacations, a cabin in the mountains, and all the material stuff. But Mr.Wonderful ran our family like a small business, we all had defined roles to fill and god forbid if you messed up! I usually managed to mess up one way or another and I'm sure I got bad marks in red on his family spreadsheet!! We ended up divorcing, I wanted time, he wanted a girlfriend, wife, and a companion. I don't know if he wanted three separate women at the time for each of those "roles", but obviously, after being married 22 years, I had failed at all three. The first divorce attorney told me, "you are holding a golden egg in your hand". To which I replied to him, "not exactly, its got a big ass crack in it". By the end of the 90's we had each changed. I missed the simple things that meant a lot to me in my life, and Mr.Wonderful was busy with spreadsheets plotting, what I now know, his financial future that didn't include me. The rest is stuff that doesn't need to be shared on a blog, especially one that my kids read. And if they are reading this now, I hope you know and realize the important point of this story I'm trying to make.

So, as I was saying, the point of todays post is that I've started asking myself, "why when Mr.Wonderful says not such wonderful things about me (never man enough to say to my face, so he uses the kids) do I "allow" it to get to me? Why does it hurt, why does it anger me? I mean the man has moved on, we've been apart for ten years now. Mr.Wonderful has the New Wife and his new namesake baby boy. So "why" I kept asking myself, do I let him get to me? He had said something about me yesterday that REALLY got to me. You know, first the tears, then the anger, and I was pissed beyond belief, not at him, but myself!! I think it is "sport" for him, like a game because he knows his hurtful comments will get back to me and upset me. And last night, he once again won, as much as I hate to admit that. So, today is a new day, and I'm living in my regular house in a regular neighborhood. I pick up the newspaper in the mornings, and greet people that are out walking. Sometimes we talk about my garden, or about their dog they are walking. It's a simple life, and I enjoy that. I'm blessed to have all three of my grown kids in my life daily,to be able spend time with the love of my life Riley each day, and a wonderful son-in-law Vinnie, and my little daughter-in-law Justine who will be delivering my little Morgan in the beginning of June.I have my Country Roads family and all their little baby's I consider my own. My life is full of friends and good people. So, back to the point of all this rambling. If we "choose" let people like Mr.Wonderful hurt us or upset us, it is really "our" own fault because we are the only one that can "allow" ourselves to feel that way. I'm hoping that makes sense. So, say and wave good-bye to Mr.Wonderful because you won't hear anymore about him! Done, end of story. Okay, off to water my garden and enjoy our California sunshine! Why is that old song by the Dixie Chicks, "Good-bye Earl" playing in my head as I write this?

8 comments:

Cher said...

Good for you, Sue. Hope the door hits him in that cracked butt of his!

The Texas Woman

Moonlight Hollow Musings said...

Take his cracked ass out to the curb and leave it with the trash! And I hope the neighbor's dog hikes his legs and pees on him while he's out there!

The End. Over. Done. Finished. Rot.

Malisa

Stacey Steimle said...

Good for you for finally saying GOOD BYE. I think when ever he makes comments and especially if they are made to the kids about you, 'the kids' just might tell him to keep it to himself and that they are not interested. You don't need to hear it and the kids certainly don't need to hear it! Nobody is interested, its done & over with!!

Jacque said...

The Dixie Chicks Earl song was a hit during my divorce. My Mr. Horrible also was mean and said hurtful things to and about me, all very uncalled for. I asked a professional about this behavior and they said that he would do this because he needed me to be mad at him to help relieve his guilt. I chose to not help him out and he simply went away... we were married 18 years and I have no idea if he is dead or alive. I cheer you on for realizing you can chose to make this person invisible to you, he can no longer affect your spirit... Sue you have a great life, enjoy it all!~Jacque

Teresa said...

I've been there too, Sue. My anger consumed me, for years. I've found that for me to have peace, I had to just let it all go.

Just put it all behind you, put it out of your life, and I think you'll find peace again.

And know that 'we' are all here for you.

Big love,
Teresa

Nice and Easy Antiques said...

Hi Sue, I'm not divorced, but my Parents are...not fun, no matter how old you are. I'm almost 50 and still remember things they said about each other after their divorce.Just let it go. Your simple, rich life is revenge enough...

Sweet Repose said...

I just popped over from Shabby Chic and after reading your first post, I wanted to congratulate you on your new life...I got rid of my Mr. Wonderful of 20 years, six years ago, I let his girlfriend have him(better her than me), but I continue to plod along in the world of MY creation, happy as a lark, with no regrets. It's me and the dog and NO aspirations to be married again...EVER.

I just cut back on my needs, read a lot more and continue to hunt trash with the best of 'em. Just like Rachel, many of us have had to regroup and are the better for it.

Good luck...we are women, hear us roar!!!

sharon

Euna said...

Sue: He can't hurt you if you don't allow it! We all have the choice to choose how we react to what people say, but it might help if you asked the kids not to repeat to you what he has said that was unkind, because it trashes your aura!! Aren't you lucky that he's gone? We forget just how lucky we are!!! Remember what a jerk he used to be? You don't have to live with that anymore! Yippee!!! Revel in the glory of not having him around!! God bless you!! Life is good! Euna