8.30.2009

Monday Morning Memories

My mom died three years ago yesterday. Sometimes it seems so much longer, maybe because my dad died just a few months later and there was just so much we were all going through back then. It was a tough time, they had the dementia/Alzheimer's stuff going on. I remember when I got the call from assisted living that my mom and fallen and they were taking her to the hospital. It was the same day that little newborn Riley and Katie were coming home from the hospital. I remember looking at the sky, seriously, and out loud asking, "why now, why now". I feel bad admitting it, but I was angry. I just wanted a couple of days to celebrate the birth and enjoy my first grandchild! When I called the hospital, they say she would be okay, and in a few days they would send her back to assisted living. I felt better, although it only lasted a day. Above is a picture of me with my parents when I was a baby. Where did all that time go?This picture is my mom with Brande at the hospital when Katie was born. It makes me a little sad, wishing that she could still have done the same thing with Riley, after Morgan was born. A couple of days after I got the call from the hospital, its was 6:16am on August 30th, 2006. The nurse asked me to "hold" because the doctor wanted to talk to me. I was on "hold" for what seemed like forever, which actually was probably less than five minutes. The nurse got back on the phone and then said the doctor wanted me to come to the hospital right away. I "knew" my mom was gone and asked the nurse, but she wouldn't tell me. I understand much more now, how my mom had been so sick for so long and just "held on" long enough for Riley to be born. It still didn't make it any easier though. But with all things in life, with the passage of time, you accept what happens in life. And I know my mom is in a better place right now where she is no longer in pain. I just hope she knows that I'm trying my best to be the best Gramma ever to my baby girls, Riley & Morgan. I miss you Mom!

4 comments:

delighted heart said...

With all the photos and stories about your cute grandkids it sounds to me like you are one awesome grandma! I know bout that missing mom thing...holding you in my heart and prayers today.
Hugs!
Patti

Callie Magee Antiques said...

I lost my Mom also 3 years ago and there are so many times I go to the phone to call her to check on her and realize I cannot call her.
I wondered today how long that continues. Lost my aunt this week and felt it all over again since she and Mom were best friends before my Mom married her brother
and she became a sister in law.
Miss her too.
Your blog was a wonderful memorial to your Mom. God bless you.
Lois

trash talk said...

Tuesday will be 10 years for me. It never gets any easier, just hurts a little less with each year. Mother didn't get to see any of my grandchildren and I truly hate that. Like your mother, she loved her grandchildren and nothing would have made her happier than to see them with their babies.
Know that I'm thinking of you today and feeling your sadness. I wish I was there to give you a hug.
Debbie

Moonlight Hollow Musings said...

Your mom would be so proud of you!

Malisa