3.30.2009

Ding Dongs!!


Okay, before I even begin to write this let me say one thing. . .I feel very sorry for the mentally ill that often refuse help and choose to live homeless. With that said, here's the story. I have two choices where I can do my banking (a)right by my house where the bank is usually a zoo, but close or (b)drive a quick ten minutes, I'm at the beach, feeling an ocean breeze, the bank is never crowded and everyone is cool and laid back! Why in the hell I made choice "a" today is beyond me! And I will never, ever make that choice again!! The bank is slammed, people everywhere and I'm thinking maybe I should go to the other bank, but like I dumbass, I decide to stay.

Since I have a merchant account the line is usually shorter. Not today, whatever these two men were doing at the two merchant windows is beyond me. It was at least a 30 minute wait, I kid you not. It only took me moments to notice the woman in the other line. Actually it was the loud, continuous coughing that let us all know she must have TB! She had all her possessions with her. Her bags were with her on the floor, they were on the counter, they were everywhere. People were polite and some listened to her conversation, others tried to completely ignore her which was tough because of the cough and her talking. The minutes went by like hours and why the bank manager didn't go over to help her is beyond me. As she gets closer to the teller windows, you know those young girls are just praying, "please God, don't let me be THE one". So, it is TB Woman's turn to go to the teller window. It takes a few minutes while she coughs all over everyone one more time, and drags her belongings up to the window. I'm not sure what transpired between the young teller and TB Woman. It took several minutes to happen but when it DID happen we ALL knew about it. TB Woman slammed her hand on the counter and at the top of her lungs began to scream, in the otherwise quiet bank, at the young teller, "you are a DING DONG, did you hear me, you are a DING DONG"!! She gathered her things and screamed one more time at the young teller, "stupid, stupid, stupid". Thankfully the teller had glass to protect her as the rest of us were stuck out there to fend for ourselves and the TB germs!

Again, where the hell is the bank manager? TB Woman drags all her stuff and gets BACK in line and plops herself on the ground and begins writing something. I was afraid to look because now she was only two feet away from ME and I didn't want to be the next "DING DONG"! Meanwhile the two stupid men are still monopolizing the merchant windows. I wanted to scream "DING DONGS" at both of them, that is how long we merchants had been standing in line. Now TB Woman begins a conversation with an elderly 100 year old man who is next to her and is hard of hearing. I'll save you the details of that ordeal, but the picture above is of me and how I felt like screaming, "HELP ME"! I had my deposit in a brown little paper bag and thought, maybe I needed to start breathing in and out of it!! FINALLY Ms. Fancy Bank Manager makes an appearance, of course after all of us probably should now have a TB test! She introduces herself to TB Woman as Mrs.So&SO and says, "I can help you". Here we go again, "what the hell can you do, that girl over there is stupid, she is a DING DONG, are you stupid, are you a DING DONG too"? I so despartely wanted to answer that question for her as in YES!!! Ms. Fancy Banker Manager replied, "no, I'm the manager and I can do many things". Seriously, that is what she said. So TB Woman again starts in how the DING DONG girl over there (pointing at the poor teller) couldn't do anything because she is stupid. So Ms.Fancy Bank Manager told TB Woman to gather her things and come over to her desk. At that point, "thank you God", the stupid men at the merchant windows finally figured out what the national debt was and both left at the same time, which allowed me to make my deposit and get that hell out of that bank! So, I'm not sure how the story ended, I was just thankful to get away from the TB polluted air and at this point I really did't give a. . . okay, I won't use the F-bomb but that's what I felt.

I had to make a quick stop at Trader Joe's across the parking lot from the bank to grab a few things. I just want to go home, but no, there is this old lady hording ALL the milk section because she is reading every single expiration date on the quarts of milk. All I wanted was to grab my two gallons of non-fat milk and just go HOME!! I had to bite my tongue because I wanted to shout at the old woman hording the milk section, "move your ass you stupid DING DONG!!! Which thankfully she did before some Ms.Fancy Trader Joe Manager had to come escort me out of the store!!

4 comments:

Brande said...

I thought this was going to be a story about your love of Hostess cupcakes at first...

Sue Jackson said...

Brande. . .let me correct you! The Hostess cupcakes are nothing at all like ding dongs!! Much different, but then again you are much too young to know the difference ;0} This was like, I need to breathe in a paper bag before I kill someone at BofA!

Jacque said...

That was hilarious! The sad part is we can all find those moments so easily anymore, I think twice about some of the places I go and the time of day it is. It took me three days to go buy allergy meds. just didn't want to face the crowds and crazies, I would rather sneeze! Keep your immune system up!~Jacque

Teresa said...

Oh my goodness, you poor thing. I think we all have days like that. That was hilarious. Though, I would not want to be in your shoes, at the time.

Hope today is beautiful for you, with no crazies.