A Letter to Mom

Dear Mom,
It's been two years ago today that you died. I'll never forget that call I got from the hospital. The phone woke me up at 6:12am that morning. I knew before I answered it who it was. The lady said it was Whittier Presbyterian Hospital and the doctor wanted to talk to me, could I hold on? I waited at least five minutes, which felt like an hour. The nurse got back on the phone and told me that I needed to get to the hospital as soon as I could. I knew you were gone, I just knew without being told. When I got to the hospital, Teri and dad were there waiting for me. I just looked at Teri and said, "she's gone", and Teri nodded her head. Then I saw dad's eyes. You know, I have this thing with people's eyes, they usually tell the whole story. Riley was only four days old, and at first I was so angry with you. I kept thinking how unfair it was for this to happen now, at a time that I was happier than I ever had been. But I soon realized that you needed to let go and that you had just hung on long enough in a failing body and mind just to know your first great grandchild was doing okay. But I gotta tell you mom, that was a tough one but you gave me the strength to be a survivor, you always told me if I got knocked down I better damn well get back up, so I did. Then I took my brand new granddaughter to your funeral. Life isn’t supposed to work like that.

I still work hard, and I always remember, as you always taught me, to help others when I can, so I keep at that. Riley just turned two years old a few days ago. All of us went to Disneyland. Riley loved it, she smiled and laughed the whole day long. You know, Riley is a lot like Katie, who as you well know is just like me. We all are a little "busy", talk too much, and are always doing something that makes everyone crazy. Katie is such a good mom, I'm proud of her. You always taught me, then my kids little songs. I teach Riley not just songs but to dance. I LOVE to dance with that little kid. Vinnie is the best dad I've ever known, much better than you know who, the one that I picked. I remember the card you sent to be after the divorce admiring me for doing it all “on my own”. And actually, I hope you have no idea what Dave’s up to now. Trust me, you wouldn't want to know. Katie and you knew how to find a better husband than I did. Brande is still doing great, the sensitive one, although she wouldn't want us to know. I know she misses you so much. You would be so proud of her, she works to help others, teaches little kids in an after school program and hates social injustices just like you always did. And she LOVES little Riley. Bryce is doing so good now, except he reminds me of dad , kind of spooky. He and Justine, who is the kindness person ever, live with me as does Brande. I like having them here. Bryce kind of keeps an eye on me to make sure I'm doing okay and helps me out. He just gets grumpy sometimes like dad did and is always working on his antiques and projects. Teri is doing great, she finally met a girl that is good to her, much better than "you know who". The holidays and birthdays are now much more fun. You would be proud of Teri. In the beginning of the year her and Linda had a commitment ceremony. It was awesome to see her finally be so comfortable, after all these years, with being gay.

And you, being the die hard Texan democrat you were, you would be so happy this election year. The first black man to run for President, Barrack Obama, I like him. He made his acceptance speech on the anniversary of Martin Luther King's famous speech. You have to know I've never forgotten what you taught me about living through the depression in Texas. And even in the economy today, I'm working hard to make you proud of Country Roads. I've been able to kind of use it as a way to give back to others and help when I can. And I know it always embarrassed you, naming a nursery after you, but "Johnnye Merle Gardens and Nursery" is still going strong too. I have battled with the City hard to keep them from turning it into a parking lot. Hopefully I can keep up the good fight, as you taught me to never give up. So, I just wanted you to know we are all doing okay and I miss you. But the lessons you taught me about life are still in my heart, in my kid's hearts, and in Riley's heart. We are a tight little family that all have good hearts! I love you mom, Sue

Happy 2nd Birthday Riley!

On this past Tuesday, the 26th, we all celebrated Riley's birthday at Disneyland! We arrived early to have breakfast in Riley's favorite place,Rainforest Cafe. It was a tad early for cake and ice cream, but none the less,she got to blow out her first birthday candle of the day!
Everyone was there for Riley; me, her mom and dad, Brande, and Bryce and Justine. We wouldn't have missed this day for anything! There is nothing better than a two year old at Disneyland. Just watching the excitement in her eyes made my day. We ate a late lunch over in California Adventure. We kind of stumbled into this restaurant without realizing how awesome it was!
"Ariel's Grotto" was the perfect place to celebrate a little girls birthday. As we came down the stairs; Riley,mom & dad, all had their picture taken with Ariel. Then as we sat out by the water,the various Disney princesses came to see Riley and wish her the happiest of birthdays! Then before we knew it, here came another princess!

Riley was loving it, and then Minnie Mouse herself showed up. Maybe it's Minnie's costume, but Riley was having nothing to do with her!! Lunch ended with the staff bringing Riley some cake and ice cream and singing Happy Birthday.
Disneyland, Riley at two years old, and my family really made for a "magical" day! These are the kinds of days I always hold close to my heart and am very grateful for.

A Country Roads Wedding

Looks like someone is getting married! Pam and Adam are getting married October 11th, 2008. We've all talked about this "date" forever and its hard to believe it is almost here. The picture above is their engagement photo, and they just look so cute. I've known Pam (aka: Pamela, or Little Pam) since she was five years old. Her mom use to work with me at my first store in Old Towne, Battered Barn, then at Country Roads. I have to admit, I look at Pam as one of my own kids. She is very special to me and is such an awesome person. I'm really happy for her & Adam right now!

This picture above means a great deal to me. This past Christmas, I had told my kids "all" I wanted as my Christmas gift was a picture by the sign on the side of our building. I never got one! But Pam, being the thoughtful person she is, and always remembering the little things in life, had the photographer take this picture for me. That's just Pam, you know. A big heart, always thinking of others. And, a little family bonus at the wedding, the little ones, Arianna, Riley, and Josalyn will all be flower girls! I'm always grateful for what this store, this business, Country Roads, has brought into my life. As you must know, Country Roads is so much more than "just" a store! The wedding will be on Saturday, October 11th at 4pm. So, I'm doing a first for Country Roads. . . we will be closing early that day at 3pm. After all, one of my kids is getting married, and our entire Country Roads family has to be there! We wouldn't miss it for anything.

Make the Time

Sometimes I feel like a hamster on that "wheel", that just goes round & round. I'm constantly busy, and seem never to make the time anymore to do stuff I want to do, things I use to do. I've been wanting to go to the Sawdust Festival in Laguna Beach for the past three years. When I was young, and not so "busy", I went every year. A friend of mine, Christie Repasy, was there again this year and I really wanted to go down and see her, her paintings and the Sawdust Festival. Brande went with me, and as we drove down Laguna Canyon it brought back so many memories of days gone by. The Sawdust Festival was awesome, and seeing Christie so happy and content, really warmed my heart. Christie has always painted beautiful, romantic floras. And to see she is now also doing beach and tropical paintings was really nice, as they are my favorite. So, of course I couldn't leave empty handed. Just being there, the art, the music, the displays and the beautiful fountains were so peaceful. It really brought back a lot of memories for me of days gone by.

After Brande and I left there, we drove around Laguna for a bit, then headed over to Fashion Island. Brande and I both have been so busy, we never really celebrated her May birthday. We had a late lunch at Tommy Bahamas, one of our favorites that we don't go to very often. If you go, just order the Pina Colada cake, no need for any other food! Then we spent some time over at Fashion Island shopping. One of my favorite stores there is "Anthropolgie". I love this store because of their displays, they are awesome, unique and always changing. I love this "hay couch" that was sitting out front of the store. It made me even more excited to go inside and see the rest of their displays. I also love their selection of books. So, I picked up a couple for myself, one for Riley, and an outfit for Brande as a belated birthday present.

We walked around some more at Fashion Island with all the other "fancy girls", as I call them. It was just such a nice day out. Riley's birthday is in a couple of weeks so we wanted to look in this childrens shop we go to when we are there. They have these stuffed animal chairs, and since Riley's room is all about the beach, Brande couldn't resist buying her the blue octopus chair(that's what is in the bag she is holding)! I can't wait for Riley to see it, she will be SO excited!

We took PCH home rather than the freeway. I live in Long Beach, about 10 minutes from the beach, so this is a much more pleasant drive. It was one of those perfect SoCal late afternoons. The sun was sparkling off the ocean, and to the right, for some unknown reason, it was clear enough to see the mountains. It made me remember how important it is to make the time, not only for yourself, but to spend it with those you love. I got an e-mail this afternoon. One of my friends, Cheryl Mitchell, isn't doing too good. She use to be our crazy gardener at Country Roads several years ago. She was at Riley's 1st birthday party last year, snapping pictures of everyone, then later showing them to everyone in Old Towne;0) That's just "our" Cheryl. She had lung cancer earlier this year, they removed her lung but its back in the other lung. She then had a stroke, and some other sad stuff has happened, all at only 49 years old. I'm not writing this to depress anyone, but to remind myself and others to never, ever take our days for granite. . "make the time", it's that simple, just make the time!

An August Day at Country Roads

As the clock ticks away the hours of Summer and Fall begins to slowly head our way, I just wanted to share some pictures of Country Roads. I'm always amazed when I walk through "Roads" snapping pictures. We have such a wide variety of merchandise and its all displayed so cool and attractive. To get ready for Fall,we've got some holiday merchandise in!
And don't forget to step out the back door into our little piece of paradise, Johnnye Merle Gardens & Nursery, named after my mom, Johnnye Merle! Set in a rustic, country setting,it lets you escape from the hustle of the City.
We just want to say "thanks" again for shopping with us. There isn't a day that goes by that we don't appreciate our customers. "If" the link below works correctly, just click it and watch a little slideshow of "An August Day at Country Roads"!
http://www.flickr.com/photos/susandulane/sets/72157606564824853

"I Love Rock 'n Roll"

Remember that old Joan Jett song, "I love rock 'n roll, put another dime in the jukebox baby?" Well, those of us here in SoCal didn't have to drop a dime in a jukebox today, we rocked 'n rolled for free! It's been awhile since we've had a quake here, and I guess no matter how many you've been through, they still catch you off guard and I still REALLY hate them!! Brande was in the family room playing with Riley. I was talking to them from the dining room, when all of sudden you hear this "noise" and stuff starts to rattle and it takes a second to realize, "oh crap, here we go". I think Brande and I both realized we better head for a doorway at the same time. She jumped up, grabbed Riley and we stood under an archway that divides those two rooms. As soon as we got there, one of my big vintage advertising signs flew off the kitchen fireplace. Then out of the corner of my eye I saw the water in the pool turning into mini waves. In those few seconds, so many things go through your head. Where is everyone, please let them be safe. I started to worry about Riley being afraid, but when I looked at her in Brande's arms, Riley was just laughing and laughing. For some apparent reason, maybe because she's always liked to dance, she thought the "rock 'n roll" was pretty funny!

As the shaking stopped, the ground that is, I was like everyone else, I grabbed my cell phone without realizing that everyone else was doing the same thing! Bryce, my son, had called me five minutes before the quake started telling me he was on the store roof, you know our old 1919 building, fixing something! I just kept thinking of him on top of the roof, and Katie, Darcy, and Brad inside the building. As you know, there was no cell phone reception, but when you are a little "shook up", you don't think logically, so I just kept dailing. Finally the house phone rang, and it was Katie. Everyone was fine, Bryce wasn't thrown from the roof, the store was okay, and thankfully most of us here in SoCal walked away with just some butterflies in our stomachs.

It makes you think though, about when you say good-bye to those you love in the mornings, that you never know what our days hold ahead for us. And stuff like earthquakes reminds me how grateful I am for those in my life I love so much, and to never take that for granite. And I'm also thankful my Riley can find humor and laughter in "rocking 'n rolling"!

Welcome to Our Family Loretta!

Recently, Country Roads has had the pleasure of Loretta Kilheffer joining our family! Having her own store in Brea for years, she is a welcome addition to Country Roads with her talent and experience. Not only does Loretta have great merchandise & displays, you will never see her without a smile. Over the years I've learned that even though it is important to have dealers in our store with talent and experience, more importantly, the one's that join us now are those that are nice, easy to get along with and positive.
As many of you know, Country Roads prides itself on the quality of the large selection of "stuff" and our awesome displays. We look forward to seeing you soon, and again, welcome Loretta, it's our pleasure to have you be a part of the store!

"Adrian Azul's" 1st Birthday Bash!

So, the youngest member of our Country Roads family just turned one year old! And I ask myself, "where did the time go". His mom and dad (Carol & Lazo) had a big birthday bash at the park this past Sunday. These kind of things, birthdays and all, mean so much to me. I'm not sure how many of you understand that when I talk about my "Country Roads family", I'm really serious. We are family in every sense of the word. The Jackson-Castillo family may not be about blood, but it is about "HEART". Our families have bonded and share a love that many blood related family's will never have. Celebrating Adrian Azul's birthday was just another example of our family ties. Look at the smile on Yesi's face as she holds Adrian Azul (I use both the first and middle name because there is still some "discussion" as to what first name he should use!). Sometimes you just get lucky, and are blessed to not only have those you love work with you, but be a part of your life, your family! I guess that's what Country Roads really means to me, my family! Click the link below for some more birthday pictures. Happy 1st birthday Adrian Azul! www.flickr.com/photos/susandulane/sets/72157606320128196

Happy Anniversary Mom & Dad!

Today would have been my parents 58th wedding anniversary.My mom died right after my grandbaby Riley was born in August of 2006. My dad passed away a few months later on Valentine's Day in 2007. I always believed my dad died of a broken heart. They had been married 56 years when he passed away. Like I've said before, I thought surviving 22 years of marriage before I went through a divorce was noteable, especially considering what a charming person my ex-husband was. I couldn't even imagine what it would be like be with the same person all those years, like my folks were. I wish I could have had that experience. It was a different generation back then, and maybe that's why we live in such a crazy world right now. We've lost the values of the generation that lived through the Depression. Anyway, I know my mom & dad are together and happy now. That is just the way they were. As long as they had each other, they didn't need anything else. So, "happy anniversary" mom and dad. I'm thinking of you guys tonight and hope you are up there celebrating because you are together, and all you ever needed was each other. I miss you.

Romantic Homes Magazine & New Grass!

Today turned out to be a really nice day. I was really stressed about it at first because Romantic Homes magazine was coming out to do a photo shoot of my house. I know I've got some cool stuff, but I always assume so does everyone else. My house is like the painting that is never done. I always have more than one project going on, and before one is finished, I've added another. Jacqueline and her photographer were great and made me feel so much more at ease. Jacqueline brought the flowers above over with her, and their "Vroom" book is doing another edition, where a couple of my table settings (which I think is what the book will be about, table settings)may be featured. It was fun to help gather different items with her for each of those shots. I've never, ever thought of my home as "magazine material", but their excitement over the house eased my nervousness! The issue that my house will be in won't be out until early next year, I'm looking forward to it.

I'm kind of obsessed with having a "green" front lawn. I have no idea what happened to my front lawn, but it has been dying a slow death and its been really depressing to me. I kept telling my kids, "I've never had a dead lawn in my entire life". I know that sounds trite, especially with so many important things going on in our world today. Anyway, I was concerned it would look bad with Romantic Homes coming to the house. Bryce dug out the lawn on Sunday, and Brande ordered the sod on Monday. The problem was it couldn't be delivered until today! The girls from the magazine were cool about it, and actually I had let that issue go before they arrived myself. As Bryce and Brande put my new grass in today, working side by side, it just meant a great deal to me. Something I'll always remember as I look at my new front lawn! As I said, it was just one of those days that was different from the rest, and really nice, and I am grateful to have had a day like today. . . thanks everyone!